Wednesday, March 21, 2012

late night musings

I'm having one of those nights where it seems impossible to go to sleep.  Honestly, part of me just wants to scoop of Mr. Bean from in his bed next to me and just snuggle with him.  It's one of those nights were my mind wraps around a million different things and I want to solve all the problems in the world, but just don't seem to know how.

Mostly my mind wanders to a certain two year old I know and love. It's one of those circumstances where the more I think about our struggles, the more it makes my heart sad. Sad for all the things I feel like we are missing out on as mother and child because of his speech. I think back to my relationship with the older three boys at this age and realise that Goober and I have nothing like that.  Not being able to communicate with my child on a  level beyond of a kid half his age is so frustrating. I know he feels the same way too.

There is so much frustration. I know it's there; I see it in his eyes every time he tries over and over again to make me understand him. Each time saying the same thing, but it being something I can't understand. Yes, I know every parent goes though this with every child. It's just that it happens, like I said, generally when the child is half his age. So to have this be where we are out communication wise, when I know he has so much more than an 18 month old going on in his head is just heartbreaking at times. There are no secret jokes being whispered in my ears, no telling me long silly stories, and so many things I feel like I don't even know about my own child.

What's his favourite colour? Food? Bedtime story? I can ask him these things, sure. And maybe I might even get lucky and muddle through pointing and picking out things until I find the answer. But to get to have him tell me why? That's just hoping for much too much.

I know someday he will speak, and we will be able to sit down and discussing things. For now I can't help but feel a little cheated though, when I think of how fleeting these early years are, and how once they are gone, the magic of those whispered words will never be able to be regained.

Mr. Beany 4 months old

I am honestly not sure how you get much cuter than this!

Some fun Beany facts at 4 months old.

He is an insistent thumb sucker.
He loves to smile at anyone who will look at him.
He 'talks' all the time.
He sleeps through the night often.
He loves to play peek a boo.
He likes to sit in his bumbo seat and play with a big piece of tulle.
He likes to be sung to.
He loves looking at picture books!

I sure do love this little Beany man.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Top o' the morning to ye!

Those sneaky leprechauns were out in full force again this year. Sadly, we still didn't catch one. But this year it seemed there was a leprechaun in training tricking our house because everywhere he went he accidently left some of his gold behind!
They must be very tricky to be able to get up there!

And strong too!

Every year they turn our dishes green, but this year they stacked them too!

"Wee Little Ones: Ye cannot catch us if ye try, but I left ye a few surprises any how. A bit o' luck to ye. Finny O'Shea. Jr. Leprechaun in training."

He seemed to drop some of his gold everywhere he went!

And when we opened the fridge for breakfast, they'd turned our milk green again!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Day #11: Someone I talked to today.

Love, love, love this Boy!

Day #10 Loud


Day #9: Red

FPs camera (taken in darkness playing with manual settings)

Day #8 Window

The windows I spend a lot of time looking at lately.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Day #7: Something I wear

My favourite thing to wear. It has taken a lot of 'love', over the last ten years, and could use some TLC, but it's still the perfect wedding ring, to me.

Day #6: 5pm

Outside the karate school, where I basically live in the afternoons.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Day 5: Smile

We call this his, 'super beaver' smile!

Day # 4b: Bedside

My stack of 'currently reading' books.
(not seen: The Mysterious Benedict Society; being read aloud to the boys)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Friday, March 2, 2012

Day 1:Up

Taken with less than 5 minutes left in the day:

Our ceiling lamp in the dark bedroom

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Photo a day: March

I did this sort of thing once a long long time ago with some friends who were all professional photographers. Their pictures were amazing, but I had fun. I figure, why not give it a go again then.